you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
Randomize
