forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
Randomize
