1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
Randomize
