Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
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