What the fuck I just showed up to court still drunk and the judge told me I smelled like his wife
Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Randomize
