I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize
