I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
Jesus knows you're telling a lie.
Jesus stopped reading my text messages when I started drunk texting boys to hookup
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
Randomize