How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
Drunk is not a location!
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
Randomize
