did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
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