Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
Mom said you looked used
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
Randomize
