Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
Randomize
