billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
His nipple licking is glorious
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