yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize