does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
Randomize
