I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
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