Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
Liz is crying about burritos again.
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
Randomize
