i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
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