**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
I deserve to be covered in dicks
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
Randomize
