Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
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