i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
I woke up after 12 hours of being wildly intoxicated, got jizz on my face, and woke up in a different bed than I passed out in. My makeup is still perfect. I'm writing Revlon a thank you note.
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
Randomize
