I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
Randomize