I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
Randomize