It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
Randomize
