dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
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