My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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