So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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