all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
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