David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
