Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize