How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
Randomize
