her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
Randomize
