New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
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