Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Randomize
