Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
Randomize
