Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
My tinder date wouldn't stop talking about the Star Wars movie trailer long enough to fuck me. HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
Randomize
