i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
you have to choose: penises or morals?
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Randomize
