Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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