Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Randomize
