It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
Randomize
