What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
