I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
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