Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
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