when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize
