erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
Randomize
