RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
Randomize
