Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
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