it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize
