D3 body, D1 cock
dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
I just tipped a bartender in xanax.
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
Randomize
