so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
Randomize
