I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
I feel like the only phrases I can clearly speak while drunk consist of: i'm fucking drunk, chug, and shots
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
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