Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
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