my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
Randomize
