so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
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