Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize
