I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
This baby is an asshole
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
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