you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
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