i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
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