i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
Randomize
