Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
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