I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
Randomize