Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
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