Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
Randomize
