we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
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