chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
Randomize
