More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
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