brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
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