Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
Randomize
