allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
I just sucked dick on a ferry
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
Randomize
