I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
Randomize
