it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
Randomize
